Getting The Right Balance


Balance is a word I’ve been thinking about a lot, recently. It’s so important that we have balance in our lives. Time on our own, time working hard, time with friends, time watching Friends (with pizza), time at the park with the family.

When things gets imbalanced, it all gets a bit stressy. At least, it does for me. Often, the first sign for me that things are imbalanced is me feeling a bit panicky or paranoid. Then I realise: I need to rebalance my life. I’m either knackered from too many late wine-filled nights, or often too many late nights at my laptop.

But recently I’ve become aware of a new kind of imbalance. For two and a half years I’ve worked full time, while my daughter is at nursery, and that’s worked really well for us. It has kept me sane in the aftermath of (undiagnosed) post natal depression and it has helped turn her into the sociable, happy four-year-old she is now. But something has changed recently. Perhaps it’s the realisation that she will be going to school in a year’s time – our time together now has a cap on it. This time next year, I’ll be picking her up from school at 3.30pm (is that even when school ends for the day? I have so much to learn) and we’ll have just a few hours a day to hang out. We’ll be restricted by a weekday timetable that will limit how much time we can spend together as a family. And then, all too soon, she’ll be at the age where she doesn’t want to hang out with us at all. (Unless she realises that I’m actually a COOL MUM *cough*)

So I’ve decided to change the four-year-old’s pre-school week and reduce her from five days to four days. On one day each week, we’ll hang out, maybe go to the library, meet friends for coffee or meet her nana for lunch. We might do painting or bake cupcakes. There will almost definitely be difficult days and tantrums, but we’ll get through those with as much of a smile as we can. I’m ignoring the small voice in my brain that is trying to remind me of the last time I spent weekdays alone with her. She was a baby back then, rather than a chatty, fun, four-year-old. And my head and hormones were totally messed up. So sshhh small voice, I’m not listening.

Of course, this decision probably doesn’t seem groundbreaking to you. After all, don’t loads of mums work part time? But it’s a big deal for me. And it signifies a real switch in my head. For the first time ever, I’m actually prioritising my family over my career. It’s SUCH a cliché but nobody ever did lie on their deathbed and wish they had worked more. Women are asked about their work/life balance all the time (men aren’t asked about it, but that’s a whole other blog post) and I’ve always been happy with mine – until now.

So I’m going to work less (I’ve already turned down work this week *high fives self*), perhaps even blog less, and focus on my family. I’m also going to do all of the things in my home that I’ve been ignoring for three years – like organising all of our crap, spring (autumn) cleaning, selling stuff on eBay and redecorating and reorganising the four-year-old’s bedroom. I might even paint her playhouse that’s been waiting to be painted for a whole year.

Wish me luck!

Image: DTTSP

Are Cinema Dates A Waste Of A Date Night?

Going on a date to the cinema has a real romantic notion, doesn’t it? Think back to being a teenager and sitting in the back row. I remember going on one of my first dates with Mr P to the cinema (our very first date is something I still tease him about – he came over to my house and cooked me sweet and sour chicken with pasta. Mmmm!) and in our 20s, watching movies together was one of our favourite things to do. Our DVD collection was huge (remember those? Round silver discs you put in DVD players to watch movies on? How retro!) Friends would tease us that it was like coming over to Blockbusters and would regularly leave with at least one or two films to take home. We’re still owed some late fees from those friends…

Since becoming parents, watching movies happens mostly on our sofa. In those early days, films were a great source of entertainment while we sat up with a wide awake baby at 3am, and a few months later, when we were in a vague routine, we’d put the little one to bed at 7pm and settle down with a movie (I’d obviously fall asleep midway through it).

And now, as parents to a four-year-old, we cherish nights where we have a babysitter and can head out together on a date.


Printable Popcorn boxes

Image: Design Eat Repeat (awesome printable popcorn boxes – check them out!)


But going back to my original question – are cinema dates for parents a waste? We tend to choose going to the pub or out for a meal, our thinking being that we can ignore each other while we check Facebook and Twitter chat to each other, set the world to rights and (assuming a lot of wine and beer is consumed) have a right old laugh. But if we went to the cinema, we wouldn’t be having a conversation, and we’d be doing something we could do on our sofa while our daughter sleeps upstairs.

Not much point right?

Except this week, there’s a movie out at the cinema that we’re both desperate to see. Gone Girl.

I read the book, and despite it being a bit hit and miss, the trailers for the film have had me dying to see it for months. Ben Affleck looks so creepy in the lead role and I’ve heard, from friends who saw advance screenings, that it’s even better than the book. So we’re breaking with tradition and going on a cinema date this weekend. We’re heading to Cardiff to check out a really cool sounding afternoon tea and staying overnight at the Park Plaza Hotel, which is just a ten minute walk from the Cardiff Cineworld, so once we’ve stuffed ourselves with afternoon tea, we’re going to go to an early evening showing of Gone Girl and then hit a bar.

Perfect or what? Cinema date nights, I think I might have been wrong about you…


 This post was written in association with Cineworld – big thanks for the tickets to see Gone Girl in Cardiff. We are really looking forward to it!


Bad Mums’ Club: Laughing When You Really Shouldn’t

It’s funny isn’t it, how one minute you’re a daft student, drinking shots in a bar with sticky floors or sitting at the back of a lecture giggling with friends about some private joke…. and the next minute, you’re a GROWN UP with KIDS.

Let’s ignore the fact that I have no idea how this happens so quickly and focus on one thing: has anyone else mastered the art of keeping a straight face to their kids when they really want to fall about laughing? I haven’t.

I’m supposed to be a mature, responsible adult, but sometimes I end up sniggering away like a student who finds the word ‘flange’ amusing. (True story: one of my Uni mates and I used to see who could say the grossest word. It freaked him out that I often won.)

Just yesterday, my four year old (who likes to make up words and swap letters around – so she might say “Dummy and Maddy” instead of “Mummy and Daddy” just to be silly) blurted out:

“Mucka mucka! Fuckafuckalucka”

I burst out laughing.

“Why are you laughing Mummy?”

“No reason – you’re just being a silly billy. Come on! Let’s go!”

Phew – totally got out of that one.

But it’s not just her accidentally saying rude words that make me laugh. The other night, she was in the bath and splashed so hard, the whole of the bathroom floor got soaked. Mr P was NOT happy. He got the stern parent act down like a boss. Me, on the other hand, I got the giggles and had to leave the room before the four-year-old saw me.

So, come on, any parents with older kids who are reading this – what are your tricks? How do you keep a straight face when you need to?




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• This post is part of the Bad Mums’ Club – a series of posts by bloggers on our ‘failings’ as mums. Of course, we know we’re not really bad parents, but sometimes it’s good for the soul to confess a little and share the not-so-perfect side of parenting. If you’re a blogger and have a post like this, link it up below and we’ll come read your post. If you’re not a blogger, you can access all of this month’s Bad Mums’ Club posts below and have a nice little read. Don’t forget to visit MorganaAimee and Katie to read their Bad Mums’ Club posts!

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