Dear Alison,
I know this sounds weird, and don’t freak out, but I’m you, in 10 years time. I wanted to defy the laws of space and time by sending you a letter back from the future.
Because I know you’re going through a tough time right now. You’ve got a four month old baby, you’re exhausted, you feel like crying a lot of the time, you’re lonely… yet you don’t feel like you can complain because first-time motherhood is tough for everyone, right? And you feel you’re SO LUCKY to have a baby, when many people aren’t able to.
So here are some things I’d like to tell you…
- I know it feels utterly relentless at the moment – like you’ll never get a full night’s sleep again and your life is basically an endurance test – but it does. In a few months time, your baby will be sleeping better, and you will feel more human.
- Ask for – and accept – help more often. You’re used to being independent, and getting things done. But this is the biggest, most life-changing thing you’ve ever done, and it’s OK to ask for help from your friends and family.
- Try not to compare yourself to other mums. It might look like they’re finding motherhood a breeze, but everyone is different, and it’s impossible to know how someone is really feeling behind the smiles.
- It’s OK to tell people you’re finding it tough. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. Give people the opportunity to help you.
- Next time your mother-in-law offers to watch the baby for an hour, don’t bother dashing off to the gym. Ditch your goal of getting back into your pre-pregnancy jeans and instead get an extra hour of sleep in.
But most importantly – you’ll be fine. It feels so hard right now, but you’ll be fine. And you’re doing a REALLY GOOD JOB.
Lots of love,
Future Alison xxx
