A Letter To My New Mum Self

Dear Alison,

I know this sounds weird, and don’t freak out, but I’m you, in 10 years time. I wanted to defy the laws of space and time by sending you a letter back from the future.

Because I know you’re going through a tough time right now. You’ve got a four month old baby, you’re exhausted, you feel like crying a lot of the time, you’re lonely… yet you don’t feel like you can complain because first-time motherhood is tough for everyone, right? And you feel you’re SO LUCKY to have a baby, when many people aren’t able to.

So here are some things I’d like to tell you…

  1. I know it feels utterly relentless at the moment – like you’ll never get a full night’s sleep again and your life is basically an endurance test – but it does. In a few months time, your baby will be sleeping better, and you will feel more human.
  2. Ask for – and accept – help more often. You’re used to being independent, and getting things done. But this is the biggest, most life-changing thing you’ve ever done, and it’s OK to ask for help from your friends and family.
  3. Try not to compare yourself to other mums. It might look like they’re finding motherhood a breeze, but everyone is different, and it’s impossible to know how someone is really feeling behind the smiles.
  4. It’s OK to tell people you’re finding it tough. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. Give people the opportunity to help you.
  5. Next time your mother-in-law offers to watch the baby for an hour, don’t bother dashing off to the gym. Ditch your goal of getting back into your pre-pregnancy jeans and instead get an extra hour of sleep in.

But most importantly – you’ll be fine. It feels so hard right now, but you’ll be fine. And you’re doing a REALLY GOOD JOB.

Lots of love,
Future Alison xxx


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