1. You realise you’ve gone the entire day with a small Bob The Builder sticker attached to your shoulder.
2. The commute to and from the office feels like a proper treat. Actual time to sit and think. Or in my case, actual time to stand, crammed onto a train, up against a bunch of fellow commuters. But you get the idea.
3. Your child is sick and you have that “My working day is more important than your working day” conversation with your partner, where you mention all the very important meetings you must attend.
4. You give yourself a mental high five for getting through the working day, after only three hours sleep (thank God for double shot lattes).
5. You open your handbag to fish out your work ID badge and pull out a Peppa Pig book instead.
6. Five years ago, every Monday morning you’d swap stories with colleagues of an amazing Saturday night out at an edgy pub followed by the most epic hangover in front of Hollyoaks. Now, you swap stories of soft play and this really good tip to get kids to sleep through the night that you’ve heard.
7. During an important meeting, you look down and spot a crusty, single Cheerio attached to your shoe. Do you ignore it, or draw attention to it by picking it off?
8. When pregnant colleagues say they’re looking forward to chilling out lots on maternity leave, you bite your tongue and smile sweetly (but inside you’re thinking “YOU’LL LEARN WHAT IT’S REALLY LIKE!”)
9. You stand up from your desk and absent-mindedly tell colleagues that you’re “going for a wee wee”.
10. You realise you’ve been quietly humming the theme tune to Tree Fu Tom for the past ten minutes.