You know you’re a parent when…

  1. You know all the words to the Bedtime Hour theme tune on CBeebies. It’s not cool to sing along, but we all do it.
  2. You watch people giving birth in films/sitcoms and can’t believe how wrong they get it. Don’t they have women who are mums in the production team and can guide them on how it really is?!

  3. You consider your jeans to be clean if you manage to scratch the dried baby milk/purée off them.
  4. Being up at 4am isn’t the result of a brilliant night out, followed by a trip to the chip shop and a wine-fuelled SingStar session.
  5. You find yourself gazing lustfully at another mum’s Stokke buggy rather than her Mulberry Alexa handbag.
  6. You’ve read and re-read the opening chapter of the same book four times in the last six months, but haven’t got any further.
  7. You get some time to yourself and go for a wander around some shops… but still find yourself lured into Mothercare when you spot an ever-so-cute baby outfit in the window.
  8. Instead of skimming past all the Facebook posts by friends-who-have-kids (and let’s face it, considering ‘hiding’ them from your news feed) you start taking an active interest, offer tips and get involved in debates on controlled crying and weaning.
    Charlie and Lola, CBeebies

    Charlie & Lola

  9. You don’t remember not feeling guilty about something. Leaving child in nursery? Check. Giving child shop-bought baby food? Check. Letting child bang head on hard floor? Check. Having CBeebies on too much? Check.
  10. When looking at buying a new car, instead of comparing engine size, you compare boot size. “Hmm. A 600 litre boot with a 1.1 litre engine? I’ll take it!”


  1. July 12, 2011 / 9:33 pm

    Don’t forget: 11. You have lost your own name and just become someone’s mummy. And you don’t really mind.
    Lovely post and blog. x

  2. March 1, 2014 / 5:21 pm

    Very funny. Especially facebook friends and scratching dried milk off clothes 😉

  3. March 3, 2014 / 10:17 am

    All very true. To which I’d add: 11. You consider anything beyond 6:30am on a Sunday to be ‘a lie-in’.

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  5. February 11, 2016 / 2:13 pm

    Alison, your blog has become my guilty pleasure-love reading your posts over my morning coffee, especially your humorous-but-oh-I-can-so-relate-posts. My husband is American (I’m British) so we live in Florida now. But when our two kids were younger we used to live in England and Germany. We were totally smitten with the bedtime hour on Cbeebies. Duh-duh-duh-derder-derder-duhhh!

    Yes, life changes somewhat after baby delivery. Now its a good start to actually make it into the shower on any given day:-)

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