I’m probably the uncoolest person you could meet. I like uncool stuff. I get scared around cool, edgy stuff. I can’t carry off cool clothes. Even the fact that I use the word ‘cool’ shows my vocabulary is stuck in 1996. (I also still use the words ‘snog’ and ‘fella’.)
I only started wearing skinny jeans in 2009 – you know, approximately five years after Victoria Beckham first stepped out in hers, tucked into her brown leather boots. 2009, that year that everyone else started wearing high-waisted flares.
I can’t get enough of naff telly (The X Factor, Masterchef, TOWIE, The Bachelor – all on my Sky+ planner) and on a Sunday morning, you’ll usually find me crooning along to Steve Wright’s Sunday Love Songs on Radio 2 (followed later in the day by the amazing Elaine Paige and her showtunes extravaganza). Ooh, and I love chick-lit. Not slightly trendy chick-lit, but books by Sophie Kinsella, Jane Green et al. The Twilight books on my bookshelf are well thumbed and might get another read soon.
If I ever go for a drink in an East London pub (NB. this doesn’t happen very often), I spend the entire time glancing around, wondering if the other (edgy) drinkers are looking at me with disdain and secretly wishing I’d jog on to the nearest All Bar One.
I update Facebook and tweet way more often than is cool. Trendy people don’t have time to log onto social media that often. They’re too busy, y’know, doing cool things like going to a flea market in Hoxton to buy 1960s crockery.
But what has prompted me to share this? This blog post by probably the coolest person I know. Her latest Fash Bride post has finally forced me to come to terms with my lack of cool. Laura asks whether bunting has become the new cupcakes. “You know; overdone, cutesty, a bit (whisper it) naff. Has what started as a nice idea turned into a bit of a monster? Was the royal wedding the turning point? Is it a retro obsession too far?” And Laura, I’m afraid to say, the answer to your question is yes. Both cupcakes and bunting are naff naff naff. How do I know this? I LOVE THEM BOTH.
Just last week, I threw my daughter a 1st birthday party. I decorated the house and garden in spotty bunting and served mini cupcakes to the guests. So, looking at my track record (remember people – skinny jeans in 2009. 2009!) I think it’s safe to say that bunting has had its moment.