This Is The Real Me

There’s a big difference between the version of me that I want to be and the version of me that exists, day-to-day…

Fantasy me loves exercise. Real me loves the sofa.

Fantasy me bakes biscuits to take around to friends’ houses. Real me parks on a double yellow outside the Co-op to run in and buy some Chocolate Hobnobs.

Fantasy me reads thought-provoking pieces in broadsheet newspapers. Real me checks the showbiz section of the Mail Online like I’m a methamphetamine addict after my next hit of Walter White’s blue crystals.

Fantasy me comes up with elaborate craft ideas for my child to do at the weekend. Real me grabs some (dried up) colouring pens and sheets of paper from our printer and suggests we do some drawing.

Fantasy me has a house worthy of Pinterest, or at the very least worthy of taking lovely photos that can appear on my blog. Real me has piles of clutter everywhere that I have to move before I Instagram anything.

Fantasy me enjoys every precious second I spend with my child. Real me reaches a point at the end of the day where it’s all I can do to switch on Ben & Holly’s Little Kingdom to give myself half an hour of rest on the sofa.

Fantasy me eats my five a day. Real me gets to the end of a day only to realise everything I’ve eaten was beige or orange.

Fantasy me reads intelligent books in bed to unwind and relax. Real me clutches my iPad in bed, reading blogs and scrolling through Twitter and Facebook.

Fantasy me spends Sunday afternoons baking beautiful cakes with my daughter. Real me buys a pack of ‘just add water and an egg’ Peppa Pig cake mix for this activity (Sidenote: these are surprisingly tasty.)

Fantasy me makes a beautiful bento box packed lunch for my child. Real me throws a banana, cheese strings and leftover pasta into a Tupperware.

Packed lunch ideas for busy mums

Perhaps one day I’ll reach my full potential… but in the meantime, I’m embracing my imperfect self.




  1. February 3, 2014 / 3:28 pm

    Your ‘imperfect self’ sounds pretty good to me!
    We all think we should be doing more than we are. I reality, if our kids are happy and healthy, we’re doing fine. Sometimes scribbling on bits of computer paper is the best type of crafty activity and left over pasta is yummy, so why waste it?
    Reading so many blogs, means we get to see the best side of everybody. Even though I blog about baking with Potato, or doing arty and crafty stuff, we don’t do that every day or even every week! Sometimes, a set of crayons and the back of an envelope is plenty! I just don’t write blog posts about that. Maybe I should 😉

    • notanothermummyblog
      February 3, 2014 / 10:25 pm

      You’re so right that all that really matters is that our kids are happy and healthy!

  2. February 3, 2014 / 3:35 pm

    This is such a refreshing read, thanks Alison! I know my wife puts a lot of pressure on herself to live up to the ideals of ‘Fantasy me’ even though they are so unrealistic, so I’ll be making sure she reads this too – she’s such a wonderful mum and I’d like her to stop beating herself up for not being ‘Fantasy-me-perfect’. Anyway, thanks for the post – I’m sure a lot of mums will sleep easier after reading it!

    • notanothermummyblog
      February 3, 2014 / 10:27 pm

      Thanks Tim – most of us mums put pressure on ourselves, so your wife isn’t alone. And thank you for sharing it on your Facebook page!

  3. February 3, 2014 / 3:35 pm

    Haha this is totally me as well, especially with the lunchbox. And the eating Beige. Everything I eat is beige. 😉

    • notanothermummyblog
      February 3, 2014 / 10:27 pm

      I enjoy the fact that you say this, and then CommentLuv tells me your latest post is called My Fitness Mission 😉

  4. February 3, 2014 / 4:00 pm

    I like the real you way more than the fantasy you. I think I’d find the fantasy you a bit annoying. PS impressive lunch box – my daughter’s had ham sandwiches for the past 4 months!!

    • notanothermummyblog
      February 3, 2014 / 10:29 pm

      If I put a ham sandwich in G’s lunch box, she would eat the ham and leave the bread. Even though she loves bread. She seems to have a mental block when it comes to just eating a sandwich. Three year olds, eh?!

  5. February 3, 2014 / 4:36 pm

    Bento boxes make me scream. Life is full of imperfections, ‘real’ is lovely and honest and more than good enough. So much pressure to be the perfect fantasy. Real life is not only achievable it’s more fun.

    • notanothermummyblog
      February 3, 2014 / 7:34 pm

      They make you scream with jealousy I bet Gemma! 😉 I wish I was that creative. Lucy’s bento boxes rock x

  6. February 3, 2014 / 6:35 pm

    Ha! Never been someone’s fantasy! All the same things just in plastic cups. Nothing fancy about it. Try it, I bet your kids will love it 😉 ps everything looks nicer at a 3/4 angle with lots of colour! Nice photo that’s all. I actually posted what their hearts and stars bento looked like once they’d started tucking in… so not all perfect 🙂

    • notanothermummyblog
      February 3, 2014 / 10:30 pm

      I am so tempted to try it. They look so fab! But first, I need to go out and buy some brightly coloured tubs and pots. And by then, I’d probably have lost the enthusiasm…

    • notanothermummyblog
      February 3, 2014 / 10:31 pm

      Haha – that’s good to hear! x

  7. February 3, 2014 / 7:55 pm

    I am inspired by the cherry tomatoes in your lunch box to be fair!

    • notanothermummyblog
      February 3, 2014 / 10:31 pm

      Ssshhh! They never get eaten! They’re just there to try to encourage her to eat them.

  8. February 4, 2014 / 12:27 am

    Shh I’ll tell you a secret. I bet 99% of the so called perfect women out there are 100% imperfect, just like you and me and do you know what? That’s fine, because it makes them and us what we are – the mummies that our kids love 🙂 x

  9. Lizz
    February 4, 2014 / 7:19 am

    So happy I’m not the only one that’s imperfect. I’m the dried up colouring pens kind of mum. So not into crafts.

  10. February 4, 2014 / 8:58 am

    Love this post and you sound pretty perfect just how you are lady-I love those add an egg mixtures too, so easy!

  11. February 4, 2014 / 10:19 am

    Like I said on Twitter, I love love love this Alison! We all have fantasy selves and I bet all parents could list loads just like yours. My girls have practically the same thing in their lunchbags everyday just because I know they’ll eat it. I tried being super creative but then reality kicked in, it stressed me out too much. Instead I stopped feeling guilty about putting crisps in their bags and put that energy in to something I am good at – being silly and having fun with them instead. I’ve realised that I should just play to my strengths and not sweat it when I see other parents nailing something I just don’t do so well. They are probably just playing to their strengths too xx

  12. February 4, 2014 / 1:30 pm

    The imperfect you sounds pretty good to me! x

  13. City Girl At Heart
    February 4, 2014 / 1:42 pm

    Ha Ha! LOVE this post your ‘fantasy me’ is me..your ‘real me’ is me too!! But do you know what I bet the real you would get on much better with the real me that the fantasy me. Keep it real 😉

  14. February 4, 2014 / 2:13 pm

    Great post, this is so much me! I spend too long thinking of doing something then realised if I did it in the time I had I wouldn’t be rushing around wishing I had more time to do things in, if this make sense? I blame Pintrest ha, everything is so perfect on their 🙂

  15. Thelifeofwife
    February 4, 2014 / 3:26 pm

    Great post. I am very similar to the real you, and wish I was a bit more similar then the fantasy you!

  16. February 4, 2014 / 4:57 pm

    This is brilliant, I think we must be twins. My boys took paper from the printer and a tub of dried up felt tips and they both wrote and illustrated their own books this week, there’s nothing wrong with real life.

  17. Helen L
    February 4, 2014 / 7:51 pm

    This post really made me smile – my whole approach to motherhood is like this, little munchkie has messy hair and crusty sweet potato up her nose but imperfection is real life and I love it all – the only person who ever puts pressure on yourself is you, so as long as babies are happy, healthy and loved then you are doing the perfect job!! Thanks for such a great post 🙂

  18. February 4, 2014 / 7:54 pm

    Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, yup that’s me too, yup I do that, tick, tick… you’ve made me feel so much better about myself – but hey, try the personal trainer thing, I can defo say it’s made me start to enjoy exercising for the first time in ages! Thanks so much for linking up to #AllAboutYou

  19. Helen L
    February 4, 2014 / 7:55 pm

    Sorry ipad was slow – didn’t realise my comment submitted twice!

  20. February 4, 2014 / 8:17 pm

    haha I can relate to this. Didn’t think your lunch box looked so bad though. It could be worse there could have been mini chedders in there 😉

  21. February 5, 2014 / 5:28 am

    Oh my, it’s like you’re writing about me. The Me in my dreams is so much more amazing than the Me in real life. But I think the real me is pretty great, too, and so are you!

  22. February 5, 2014 / 10:09 am

    I think no matter who you are you crave for that ‘domestic goddess’ to arrive and take your place. It’s one of those guilt things that all women seem to succumb to. I think it’s awesome to embrace the real you. I’ve been watching Desperate Housewives recently and the fantasy you makes me think of Bree Van De Kamp, the domestic goddess. I think we all wish we could be fantastic at all housewife and mum duties but you know what? We’re human, tire out and some of us are rubbish at baking (me!) but that doesn’t mean we’re rubbish at being a housewife or mum. Great post.

  23. Becci Jones
    February 5, 2014 / 12:45 pm

    Brilliant – I could’ve written this myself. Think you’ve captured how many mums feel. Feel better that I’m not the only one with a cluttered un-instagrammable house! x

  24. February 6, 2014 / 1:05 am

    Don’t we all feel like this? I berate myself especially for not doing more brilliant craft things with the kids, or having a show-worthy house but then the real me says “shut up, the kids are happy little monkeys, and your home is a reflection of our tastes and personalities; I like “eclectic” more than “messy” – it turns out that much of the difference between fantasy and real is vocab, and the real me just needs better marketing! Great post, I reckon enjoy the real you, you sound REAL (otherwise you might be a bit too Gwynnie!) #AllAboutYou

  25. February 6, 2014 / 8:00 pm

    Hilarious! I’m with you on a lot of these. I’ve begun each and every day this week with the resolution not to let the kids watch too much TV. And they’ve seen tons of the stuff! In our defense, though, we ARE all a bit poorly… the shot of the fantasy/real lunchbox in this post!

  26. February 7, 2014 / 2:35 pm

    Fab post, thought I’d commented already but can’t see it-you sound flipping perfect to me lady! Glad I’m not the only one who scrolls the sidebar of shame! x

  27. February 26, 2014 / 10:00 pm

    I love this! So true & I’m right next to the fantasy you and the real you. Only I’ll probably be tripping over and dropping stuff at the same time!

  28. March 3, 2016 / 11:57 am

    I love this article! A great concept for a blog post, makes such a humorous read. I too have a fantasy and real me, I suppose we all do:-)

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