36 Things That Happened If You Were A Teenage Girl In The 90s

Clueless

1. You read a well-thumbed copy of Judy Blume’s Forever, after it had been passed around most of your class.

2. You had to decide whether you loved Take That or East 17 more. You couldn’t love them both, that was against the rules.

3. But if the hot boys from school asked, you were totally into Pearl Jam and Nirvana.

4. You had a crush on all of the Mizz male models. especially Malcolm.

5. You wore Dr Marten boots and referred to them as docs or DMs. If you were really cool, you had the cherry reds. With tartan laces.

6. It wasn’t Saturday afternoon without a visit to The Body Shop to spend your pocket money on a kiwi lip balm. Or if you were splashing out, White Musk perfume.

7. You were addicted to playing Tetris on the GameBoy. And you may have owned a Tamagotchi.

8. You went to see Titanic at the cinema three times – and cried when Leo died, every time (“Jack! Come back!”)

9. Saying “Not” at the end of a sentence never got tired.

10. You decided if you ever got a tattoo, it would be Mark Owen’s dolphin or Mel C’s celtic arm chain. Both totally amazing.

11. But you couldn’t decide whether you’d rather have your eyebrow pierced like Howard Donald or a pierced tummy button (well, flashing a belly bar while wearing a crop top would be so cool.)

12. School holidays were spent watching Saved By The Bell (you really wanted to be Kelly Kapowski), listening to Pulp, Blur and Oasis on your Walkman and avoiding any homework or revision.

13. You loved Cosmetics To Go and pored over their newspaper style catalogue every time it was delivered. Bath bombs! Shampoos with comedy names! Amazing smelling products!

14. Over the knee socks were a totally legitimate fashion choice. Despite what your mum’s withering look told you.

15. Every second Wednesday was all about Just 17. And the first pages you turned to? The advice pages, of course. Anita Naik and Nick Fisher were your gurus.

16. Thanks to Neighbours and Home & Away, you thought Australia was the best place ever, and you perfected your Aussie accent by saying phrases like “Let’s jump in the ute!”, “Have you fed the chooks?” and “Strewth, mate!”

17. You had to wait until 6pm to call your friends, to get the cheaper call rate. Then you’d spend at least an hour chatting to them, despite having seen them that day at school.

18. Your school ring binders and books were covered in moody black and white posters of Keanu Reeves and River Phoenix…

19. …and your pen of choice was a four-colour Bic.

20. You totally rocked the black leather choker with the silver cross that you bought from Tammy Girl, your palladium shoes from Dolcis and a baby doll polyester dress that looked more like underwear than a real dress.

21. You cried when Robbie left Take That. And actually considered calling the helpline set up for distraught fans.

22. Your hair didn’t thank you for the perm. Or the Sun-In bleach you sprayed on it. The Wella Toners and Shaders were much kinder to it. But the bright blue hair mascara just looked ridiculous.

23. Going to the video shop on a Saturday night was the highlight of the week. You’d spend at least ten minutes deciding whether to rent Clueless, Wayne’s World or Speed.

24. You tried to pull off Buffalo boots, like the Spice Girls, but didn’t quite manage it. Zigazig-nah.

25. When you grew out of White Musk perfume, you graduated to Ex’cla•ma’tion and then CK One. When you wore that, you felt as cool as Kate Moss.

26. Why would you use a normal hair bobble when you could use a scrunchie?

27. You knew all the words to Let’s Get Ready To Rhumble by PJ & Duncan. And at least two verses of Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise.

28. You thought Chris Evans was the coolest and funniest man on the TV – from The Big Breakfast to Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush to TFI Friday, he was a regular on your telly box.

29. Friends was something that was only on TV once a week. And every episode you watched was brand new! Oh happy days.

30. Buying a Gossard Wonderbra made you feel totally grown up. Especially when you looked in the mirror and said: ‘Hello boys!’

31. That pale, shimmery lipstick from Miss Selfridge looked ‘the bomb’ on you…

32. …and you wished you were cool enough for Hard Candy nail polish.

33. You pretended you were too old for it, but Saturday mornings were all about sitting in your PJs, watching Going Live or Live And Kicking. Trev and Simon swinging their pants, Gordon the Gopher, Edd the Duck, Andi Peters – all heroes.

34. You wished you could hang out in the Peach Pit, with Brandon Walsh serving you a milkshake, like on Beverly Hills 90210.

35. When you met up with a friend to go shopping, you had to arrange a time and a place… and actually be there. No texting each other to say you’d be late.

36. You saw Mel Blatt from All Saints perform onstage with her baby bump hanging out of her crop top and cargo pants, and thought it was a look you’d definitely copy when you were grown up and had babies.

If you liked that, you might like: 10 Signs You Were A Take That Obsessive or 5 Things I Love Now I’m In My 30s.

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88 Comments

  1. October 18, 2014 / 11:04 pm

    Oh my god, laughing so hard now at this little blast from the past. The hubby kept asking what I was sniggering at and when I read them to him he just looked at me like I was mad!!!
    And I not only had a four colour biro, but a TWELVE colour! It was so chunky you could barely hold the thing, but it was AMAZING. And when I wasn’t using that it was fluffy topped pens, just like the Clueless girls! x

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 19, 2014 / 8:56 am

      Oh YES! I had one of those big fat 12 colour pens too. They were the best.

      • October 25, 2014 / 10:03 am

        I didn’t know they still made them, but my daughter was bought one for her last birthday, with a Hello Kitty on the top to press to release the colour. I think I’ve used it more than her 😉

        I remember many of these but a few are a mystery such as Cosmetics to Go. However, I’ve started rereading my diaries from 25 years ago. I’m currently in 1989 so I wonder how many of these points will make an appearance.

        • Hayley
          November 7, 2014 / 3:35 pm

          Do you remember that they used to smell. Every colour smelt of something sweet apart form the burnt orange colour!

        • Lauretta Wilson
          January 15, 2015 / 7:17 am

          Cosmetics to go ended up as Lush, they still do the newspaper 🙂

  2. October 18, 2014 / 11:05 pm

    Haha I love reading these, I always forgot all of it then read it going YES! I actually saw Titanic at the cinema 12 times and crid at every single one of them!! So funny x

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 19, 2014 / 8:57 am

      12 times?! Respect Jess!

  3. October 19, 2014 / 12:00 am

    Oh my goodness, just read all 36 and was nodding along to every one! Although, I was more a Mizz and Looks girl and opted for grapefruit soap and Dewberry perfume at The Body Shop. Ooh and the pearl ball blusher! Also, shopped at C&A, Snob and the Keys catalogue for all my wardrobe favourites.
    Great post!! xxx

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 19, 2014 / 8:58 am

      Totally forgot about grapefruit soap. Loved that. And the banana hair conditioner!

    • Carol
      April 21, 2016 / 9:00 pm

      Omg dewberry perfume I had that lol

  4. October 19, 2014 / 7:19 am

    You know. That we led the same life. So I have nothing to comment. As clearly? I AGREE AND I LOVED MALCOLM!!!! xxxxx

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 19, 2014 / 8:58 am

      Are we the same person? Has anyone seen us in the same room? 😉

  5. October 19, 2014 / 7:43 am

    Laughing my socks off! I was quite certain that I was going to marry Malcolm one day 😉

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 19, 2014 / 8:59 am

      Hands off, he’s mine 😉

  6. October 19, 2014 / 7:46 am

    This is so funny and SO true.
    Although, even now my pen choice is the 4 colour bic. It excites me far more than it should xx

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 19, 2014 / 8:59 am

      Ssshh I still have one too.

  7. October 19, 2014 / 7:53 am

    Ha ha, yes these all ring true with me! The hours I spent on the telephone chatting to mates and arranging to meet ‘up town’ on Saturday after, of course, Going Live. Saw All Saints live at Canon Hill Park in Birmingham, with her infamous baby bump on show. She was soooo cool, wasn’t she? Spending my wages from my part time job in ‘Woolies’ in The Body Shop and Benetton if I’d saved hard enough! Oh those were the days

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 19, 2014 / 9:00 am

      Benetton was SO Cool. Remember the controversial adverts?

  8. October 19, 2014 / 8:15 am

    Ha love every single one of these! Isn’t it funny how similar we all were except we thought we were ‘different?’ I genuinely did all of these at some point. The phone call one made me laugh, I used to drive my Mum and Dad mad as I was at school with my friends all day and then would be on the phone to them all evening too. And eventually I graduated to MSN messenger but it was in the days of dial up so would still be hogging the phone line! 😉 A great post! x

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 19, 2014 / 9:01 am

      I think I was at Uni when MSN came in and we had one computer that was hooked up to the internet with a big sign on it saying: NO HOTMAIL!

  9. October 19, 2014 / 9:57 am

    Ha ha ha… Love every one of these! We had it pretty good didn’t we? Loved J17 and Looks – remember when they used to give you free beauty VHS’s – how amazing was that. And, features about the “Supermodels” – I used to go out and buy every beauty product they mentioned (how I managed on £10 a month pocket money I’ll never know!) The Body Shop Cucumber cleaner and Toner and Grapefruit face wash were my faves! Rimmel Heather Shimmer lipstick and Anais Anais too! The fashion I would rather forget (hooded tops, Joe Bloggs denim and I even had that skirt with the braces that Kylie wore in I should be so Lucky!) Love the point about Friends – although even with all the re-runs I still find it so funny now!

  10. October 19, 2014 / 2:55 pm

    Yes to every single one! Also: magazines with huge pull out posters, first of all of Take That and then, later, of Leonardo DiCaprio. And listening to copies of albums that you recorded from your mates on cassettes. And Walkmans! Remember those?! And recording the chart show on a Sunday! Oh those were the days.

  11. October 19, 2014 / 5:36 pm

    Ha! I posted something similar but had completely forgotten about Malcolm. Swoon. And White Musk- this smell can never be forgotten. I think I would throw up if I came across it now!

  12. October 19, 2014 / 7:10 pm

    I TOTALLY concur with all of the above!!!
    I reckon I could still find the ‘rude’ bits in Forever within about 20 seconds!!!

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  13. October 19, 2014 / 8:23 pm

    LOVE this Alison! I cried my eyes out when Robbie left Take That (and had a little joyous weep when he returned recently). Funnily enough I recently bought some new leave in conditioner that smells just like Body Shop white musk! Don’t forget your toothbrush was my fave show! So many memories 😉

  14. October 19, 2014 / 8:28 pm

    This is brilliant!

    33 made me howl – I watched sat am kids telly well into my (ahem) mid 20s!

  15. October 20, 2014 / 10:47 am

    Ha ha, the 90s were so cool!!! I had cherry red DMs and loved my over the knee socks 🙂

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 24, 2014 / 7:46 am

      You were SO cool then!

  16. October 20, 2014 / 1:18 pm

    Oh yes! The smell of white musk takes me straight back to my teens. And I had one of the huge 10 (and plenty of 4) colour pens too… loved it.

  17. October 20, 2014 / 5:06 pm

    I’d just like to say, as someone editing a teen mag in the 90s (Bliss), we actually held a candlelit vigil in the office when Robbie left Take That. Oh yes, those were the days…

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 24, 2014 / 7:45 am

      DID you Ally? That is brilliant.

  18. October 21, 2014 / 8:13 am

    Fantastic and thank you for the mention. Got to love the 90s, grapefruit soap, New Kids On The Block and of course Just 17! X

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 24, 2014 / 7:45 am

      Ahh I forgot about NKOTB. Jordan was my first love 😉

  19. October 21, 2014 / 9:52 pm

    Yes to every single one. You’ve just taken me on such a lovely memory ride! The dolphin? Hard Candy? The baby bump performance…. Do you know though that I still listen to Pulp all the time? Loved reading this xx

  20. October 22, 2014 / 9:12 pm

    Laughed all the way through this as most of it could be attributed to “my era” of the 80s too!

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 24, 2014 / 7:44 am

      You should do an 80s version Nickie!

  21. October 22, 2014 / 9:32 pm

    Loved this! I definitely spent too much money and time in the Body Shop, that banana conditioner was amazing though. Do they still sell it? Every birthday was about a basket from the Body Shop. I’d like to add in My So Called Life. I was so obsessed with that TV show and had such a major crush on Jared Leto. And of course who can forget trying to record songs off the radio without missing too much of the beginning or letting it run on at the end and getting a load of DJ chat. It was a fine art.

  22. October 22, 2014 / 10:50 pm

    I remember spending four hours on the phone to my best friend one night, having to hang up every hour and call back because it was cheaper. Great list.

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 24, 2014 / 7:44 am

      Was that a thing? Amazing! I love it x

  23. October 23, 2014 / 7:18 am

    Ok I confess… I was a DM-wearing, Sun-In bleached, Clueless fan with a secret collection of PJ & Duncan singles on a home recorded tape… Lol xx

    • Alison Perry
      Author
      October 24, 2014 / 7:43 am

      We would have got on VERY well then 😉

  24. JanineC
    October 24, 2014 / 9:10 am

    Thank you – such fantastic memories. I laughed out loud at the perfectly described perfume journey I travelled and have the urge to find some exclamation to bring back that school disco smell! I was a DM wearer too, I think oxblood colour. However, I only ever the rude bits of ‘forever’ (not the only one I’m sure).

  25. October 24, 2014 / 10:04 am

    Love this post – brought back so many memories of my teenage years. I had forgotten all about Malcolm and J17 was the highlight of the fortnight! I was a bit more of a dewberry girl and the pink one from the Body Shop (completely forgot the name of it now!) plus used to love all their lip balms 🙂

    • Louise
      January 11, 2016 / 7:10 am

      Ananya

  26. Malcolm Jeffries
    October 24, 2014 / 1:28 pm

    Quite proud I’m at number 4. 🙂

  27. October 24, 2014 / 1:47 pm

    I am laughing so much at the Body Shop part especially, though I was actually partial to a blackberry lip balm myself. Fab post! x

  28. October 24, 2014 / 2:27 pm

    Ah yes, Forever by Judy Blume and White Musk perfume. Transported back into a whole other world there, although of course I didn’t need a perm as Mother Nature had kindly given me an afro of my own 🙂 L is now reading (some) Judy Blume books and I daren’t let Hubs get her any out of the library in case he gets Forever or another equally inappropriate book for a not quite 8 year old! Great round-up 🙂 x

  29. October 24, 2014 / 11:04 pm

    What a blast from the past….I nodded to every one of those! Ahh the memories x

  30. Meli
    October 25, 2014 / 12:54 am

    Oh wow this has brought back so many memories, my fav lipy was miss Selfridge melancholy and Mary quants Purple Heart when I was being a bit goth! And I still have my Judy Blume diary….I was an angry and dramatic teenager, I’m so laughing!! Thank you for the memories xx

  31. dawn
    October 25, 2014 / 2:32 am

    Brilliant, but not just teenager’s !
    Between myself and my friends, and my two daughters and their friends we got the entire list covered.
    As a fierce hater of ‘mommy’ bloggers, I’m excited to be sent information that you exist, a mummy, with non usa relevant content. I’m bookmarking this for further investigation…I have high expectations. 🙂

  32. October 25, 2014 / 10:50 pm

    Ha ha! this cracked me up!

    Dewberry was my choice du jour at The Body Shop. I would also make a little visit to Bath and Body Works. I still pine for Tribe perfume.
    Mizz is a definate blast from the past!

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  33. Jen
    October 26, 2014 / 2:44 pm

    This post has made my day, thanks for the memories! I would like to add Rimmel’s Heather Shimmer in to the essential cosmetics of the 90s list please!

  34. Michelle
    October 28, 2014 / 7:07 pm

    Brilliant memories, anyone remember the sweater shop or Mckenzie jumpers?? Also More magazine with its ‘position of the fortnight page’? I’m actually embarrassed how funny we found it

  35. October 30, 2014 / 3:57 pm

    OMG so true bring back the 90s soooooo much fun everything was so cool. I remember wearing Rimmel black cherry lipstick and then lining my lips with black eye liner to make it darker and me seem more cool

  36. October 30, 2014 / 7:13 pm

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  37. October 30, 2014 / 7:16 pm

    Oh HILARIOUS!! Nodding along to them all. I liked to mix it up a bit with some Dewberry on Monday / Wednesday / Friday and White Musk on a Tuesday / Thursday!! Number 36 …..I had totally forgotten that image, I was soooooo going to do that when I got pregnant!!! LOL.

  38. CAROLYN
    November 1, 2014 / 10:02 am

    oh my god!!!!!! My copy of Forever has all folded down corners of all the rude bits; I wore a scrunched in my hair as well as one on my wrist; I pretended I liked Dewberry as much as White Musk but actually I just smelled like a sweet shop; I read More! Magazine as well and ogled over Position of The Fortnight – I think I might have learned all about sex from that magazine; my skirt of choice was a wrap around that used to take forever to tie up because it had about three different holes for the belt; once I’d graduated from Tammy Girl I started shopping at Bay Trading, Miss Selfridge and Snob; I wore a pinstripe suit out clubbing because “that’s how the Spice Girls did it and it made me look older”; my 6th form shoes were mules;

    The 90s rocked!!!! You’ve made my morning. Thank you!!

  39. November 1, 2014 / 11:01 am

    … washing your hair in Body Shop’s Ice Blue Shampoo!

  40. carly
    November 3, 2014 / 10:12 pm

    love this!!!! saudade….

  41. November 9, 2014 / 8:18 pm

    Ha! This post is brilliant! I nodded along to all of them. I’m still impressed with myself when I can sing all the words to Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise (kids are not so impressed) x

  42. January 8, 2015 / 11:35 am

    Don’t forget knowing all the words to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme tune!

    I could relate to every single one of these! Fab. x

  43. Vanessa
    January 9, 2015 / 11:21 am

    Ah such fond memories. Do you also remember trying record to the charts on your tape recorder on a Sunday afternoon and quickly pressing stop before the radio presenter would start speaking. haha I used to wear a white suit and black shirt clubbing aswell- with the biggest pink scrunchie on my wrist (on purpose)- what was I thinking!

  44. January 10, 2015 / 10:04 am

    Oh I love this! I nodded all the way through. I was a East 17 fab and went to see them in concert and was right at the front 🙂 then quickly moved on to Guns n Roses then Nirvana and Pearl Jam. I rocked the DM’s black chockers and goth look. Oh the memories 🙂 thank you for reminding me x

  45. January 10, 2015 / 5:32 pm

    Haha, brilliant, I can recognise myself in many of these 🙂 except I never liked e17 or take that, and was genuinely into nirvana 😀 oh this post brought back so many memories 🙂

  46. January 10, 2015 / 5:55 pm

    This blog post made me laugh out loud!!! – brought me right back, and I can relate to ALL of the points, so funny. 🙂

  47. January 11, 2015 / 9:58 am

    I was a young teenager in the 90’s but I can still relate to most of these points. I loved Take That and hahahaha about CK One- yep- takes me right back if I smell it now!

  48. Sarah Blackshaw
    January 11, 2015 / 10:00 am

    Gosh, all of the above! Loved the nineties… I recall reading a lot of Sweet Valley High and Stephen King and Saturday nights in the early nineties was all about Baywatch and Gladiators (I wanted to be Jet!) Doused myself in the peach body shop scent that smelt like Archers and adored their banana shampoo & conditioner. Still have some old issues of Mizz, Company and Sky magazine knocking around that I can’t bring myself to part with. Good times….

  49. January 11, 2015 / 11:51 am

    I’ve only just seen this. Of course you know now that I’m going to have to do an equivalent post about the 80’s, don’t you? How on earth did things change so drastically in 10 years!?

  50. Laura
    January 16, 2015 / 2:06 pm

    These are all so much of a trip down memory lane and i love it!! What about the “point horror” and “point romance” books? Lol 😀

  51. January 18, 2015 / 9:16 pm

    Love this! This was definitely my teenage years!

  52. kelly
    February 2, 2015 / 9:58 pm

    This was honestly mine and my best friends entire growing up in the 90’s ! I had red dm’s, I still have my copy of forever and read it to this day. Katherine and Michaels love will never die. I chose take that and had a huge rivalry with my brother who chose e17. Brilliant thanks for the trip down memory lane

  53. February 14, 2015 / 7:38 am

    brilliant list – loved J17!! You did forget the electric blue mascara and my lipstick of choice was the random pale pink one that had a tinge of blue

  54. April 20, 2016 / 8:42 pm

    Oh boy I am totally crying with laughter! Just reading through this and nodding constantly. LOVE this post. Totally amazing. 😀

  55. April 20, 2016 / 10:01 pm

    OMG Malcolm was the bomb! Can’t believe you left off NKOTB (shamefully I went to see them when I was 27! and still follow Donnie Wahlberg – my first love – on FB).

    This post is so spot on, amazing! I was only thinking of exc!amation perfume yesterday and how rank we must have all smelt!

    Also – More magazine should definitely get a mention – position of the fortnight was legendary, even though none of us really understood it or had the opportunity to try it!

  56. June 7, 2016 / 7:55 am

    OMG I loved River Phoenix (but have to admit teenager in the 80’s here!)

  57. January 24, 2017 / 11:31 am

    I loved reading every one of these! There were so many things I had forgotten about, but reading this took me right back! Thank you for taking me back to a much simpler and innocent time. I also used to love watching Sister, Sister and Sweet Valley High. I used to try and dress like Elizabeth from Sweet valley High! Oh those were the days!

  58. May 20, 2017 / 11:14 am

    Omg!! This brought me back quite a few years 🙂 I was more into Fuzzy Peach than the White Musk perfume, smelling like a newly opened bottle of Peach Schnapps was more my thang back then! Also the chokers, slip dresses and bomber jackets that we worn back then are back again. Are we officially old now that fashions we once wore are back in again?! Thanks for the laugh (and the memories)

    Denise

  59. November 15, 2017 / 9:32 am

    I love this! And I thought I was unique… Exclamation was my ‘signature’ scent you know! But I was never quite cool enough for a hard candy nail polish. One of my friends got one in her advent calendar, I think she was ahead of her time!

  60. Sophie
    February 22, 2018 / 11:40 pm

    This is AMAZING! Thanks for the memories 🙂

  61. February 23, 2018 / 3:34 pm

    Bloody brilliant! Also don’t forget taping the top 40 and trying to pause it before the dj started talking!!

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