You Know You’re A Member Of Bad Mums’ Club When…

Bad Mums’ Club. Are you a member? I am. Here’s how you know if you are…

1. The first thing you do when you wake up is reach for the iPad so your child can watch Ben & Holly while you come-to and remember which day it is. Oh bugger, it’s Monday. Better get moving, then.

2. Your dinner menus are a rotation of: fish fingers and peas, sausages and broccoli, beans on toast. (What? All the major food groups are there, aren’t they?)

3. You think bribery is a perfectly acceptable way to encourage your children to do things. Worse still, you bribe them with chocolate and ice cream. (True story: my three-year-old announced to her key worker at pre-school when I picked her up one evening: “If I behave all week, Mummy is taking me to the toy shop.” I might have cringed.)

Bribing your child with ice cream = WINNING

4. You realise that you’ve fallen behind with the laundry and you haven’t got any clean clothes for your child. So you stick a Halloween-themed t-shirt on them and scrape mud off their jeans so they can be worn again. There, no one at pre-school will even notice…

5. You tell your family that you’re off upstairs to “tidy up” but really, you sit on the bed with your iPad, catching up on Twitter, just to get some peace from Peppa Pig for ten minutes. (Shhh, don’t tell my husband.)

6. Your child’s toys are in a mass heap in the corner of a room – no order, no organisation, just a mass of plastic, wood and furry toys. You keep meaning to organise it all properly, but you haven’t quite got around to it yet.

7. You don’t take your child to swimming lessons. This is a big unspoken no-no in some parenting circles. We took our daughter to swimming classes when she was eight months old, she hated it, we found it stressful, we stopped going.

8. After a particularly trying weekend, you actually look forward to going back to work on Monday morning. Yep, work feels like a rest in comparison to parenting a challenging child. (SAHMs, replace work for “the gym”.)

Sometimes my job is preferable to parenting

I’m linking this post up to The Bad Mums’ Club – a collection of posts by bloggers on our failings as mothers. Of course, we know we’re not really bad mums, but I think it’s important to highlight all the imperfect stuff we do, as well as the amazing rose-tinted moments. It’s good to keep it real, right? At the moment, The Bad Mums’ Club consists of me, Morgana from But Why Mummy Why, Aimee from Pass The Gin and Katie from Hurrah For Gin (Can you tell, mum bloggers like gin?) but really, everyone is welcome.

Here’s the badge, if you are a blogger and you fancy writing a post and popping the badge on it:

Not Another Mummy Blog
<div align="center"><a href="" title="Not Another Mummy Blog"><img src="" alt="Not Another Mummy Blog" style="border:none;" /></a></div>



  1. Jordan
    March 3, 2014 / 7:15 am

    Oh my goodness.

    I do ALL of these things! Naively thinking it was just me….. glad it isn’t!

    • Alison Perry
      March 3, 2014 / 2:02 pm

      Nope, not just you Jordan. Welcome to The Bad Mums’ Club 😉

  2. March 3, 2014 / 7:19 am

    Oh god. The swimming thing. Proper chuckling at that and why must the swimming mums always bore us with tales of how far their “little fish” can swim?

    • Alison Perry
      March 3, 2014 / 2:03 pm

      Yes! Now, your daughter is….. two days old? I hope you have her booked in for lessons?? PS Congratulations xx

  3. March 3, 2014 / 7:38 am

    Hear hear on point 7 – we did the swimming lasted until 14months and the stress to much!? With a 17mth old am sure I am working up to the 10 point plan! Ha …

    • Alison Perry
      March 3, 2014 / 2:04 pm

      It’s not like they actually TEACH them to swim as a baby, is it? It’s more about following instructions and being confident in the water. (I’m trying to convince myself here, can you tell?)

    • Alison Perry
      March 3, 2014 / 2:04 pm

      *high five*

  4. March 3, 2014 / 11:21 am

    Haha – I ticked all the boxes too – I am officially in the bad mum club. This morning there were no clean socks for the baby – after shouting at everyone (cause it was their fault) I extracted yesterdays from the washing basket. Glad I am not alone. x

    • Alison Perry
      March 3, 2014 / 2:05 pm

      How dirty can baby socks BE? Totally fine to use yesterday’s again! 🙂

  5. March 3, 2014 / 12:49 pm

    Haha sounds like I could of written this myself especially the dinner menu on rotation, so nice knowing there’s other mums just like me out there! X

    • Alison Perry
      March 3, 2014 / 2:05 pm

      Yes! Come join the club 🙂

  6. March 3, 2014 / 1:12 pm

    *nods head along to whole post*, well apart from the swimming bit, but you know how well that’s going!! x

    • Alison Perry
      March 3, 2014 / 2:05 pm

      Proof that taking your kids for swimming lessons is a bad idea 😉

  7. March 3, 2014 / 1:24 pm

    Yes, this is very familiar, especially the “tidying up” one.

    Also, we use ice cream as a threat as The Chunk hates it. The weirdo.

    • Alison Perry
      March 3, 2014 / 2:06 pm

      Only child ever who hates ice cream??

  8. March 3, 2014 / 2:19 pm

    You don’t take your daughter swimming?! Honestly that’s wicked. Un-follwing now! 😉

    • Alison Perry
      March 7, 2014 / 8:44 pm

      haha! Come baaaaack!

  9. March 3, 2014 / 10:59 pm

    LOL I tend to pop upstairs “to the loo” (aka hide in the bathroom to escape the tantrums, peppa pig and snotty noses for 10 mins)!

    • Alison Perry
      March 8, 2014 / 8:45 am

      The loo = a sanctuary!

  10. March 4, 2014 / 7:00 am

    Ha am upstairs now on twitter allegedly getting in some extra sleep – it is 06:45am. Funnily enough I booked swim classes for M yesterday, for first time since she was a toddler. Got all excited about the opening of the Olympic pool and then went on a massive guilt trip that I never got round to re-booking swim classes since I said I would, 2 years ago

    • Alison Perry
      March 8, 2014 / 8:46 am

      *high fives Luci*

  11. March 5, 2014 / 7:26 am

    where do I pay my join up fee?

  12. March 5, 2014 / 9:14 am

    Looks like I belong to this club…..iPad next to these,take baby out of cot,into bed,Baby Jake on… means another hour in bed!
    Bad Mums Club keeps you sane!

  13. March 5, 2014 / 2:40 pm

    i have pulled school uniform from the washing basked before today and given it a wet wipe wash! *hangs head in shame*

  14. March 5, 2014 / 10:23 pm

    I am in no dout also a member of this club lol we have a huge toy box and everything gets thrown in there! As for grabbing the ipad first thing in the morning for another precious 5 minutes of sleep, guilty!! I just need to train 6 week old into doing the same. Xx

  15. March 6, 2014 / 8:55 pm

    Ha! I leave the iPad at the dining table, with a banana, and some water. Then I stay in bed, in the quiet! 😉

  16. March 8, 2014 / 12:40 pm

    Think I pretty much ticked all of the above! I swear going to work is like a holiday – you can go to the loo on your own, hold a conversation and walk from room to room without a small person having to follow you everywhere!! Thanks for sharing. V@Sprout’s House xox

  17. March 13, 2014 / 6:27 pm

    Hahaha! So it’s not just me that goes to the supermarket with a bag full of crisps and chocolate to make sure I can get the shopping done tantrum free??

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