Doing Motherhood, My Way

Maverick Mum

Every morning in my home, there’s a mad rush to get ready. Despite my five-year-old waking up at around 5.30am every day (a whole three hours before we leave for school) we still somehow manage to spend those final 15 minutes, racing around in a hurry. It’s not uncommon for me to ask my daughter to brush her teeth at least six times before she does it. Then she’ll discover she can only find one shoe. Shoe found, she decides she’ll be too cold wearing socks, she wants to change into tights. That sorted, I then notice a toothpaste stain on her skirt, so we have to change that too.

I’m hot, I’m flustered, I’m getting a bit shouty. “It’s show and tell today!” the five year old suddenly says. Finally, after brushing my own hair and slapping on a bit of make up, so as not to scare the other school mums too much, we leave the house.

As we walk along, the hurried frenzy subsides and Shouty Mummy disappears. The five year old clutches my hand and we chat about things like what she might have for lunch that day, or a party that’s coming up at the weekend. By the time we get to the school gates, we’re smiling and I’m calling ‘Morning!’ to the other parents we see.

They’d never guess that just ten minutes earlier, I was a sweaty, snappy mess. I look like I’m winning at parenting – at life! But the reality is: I’m totally winging it.

The other parents don’t know that while I’m doing the school run, our house looks like a bomb hit it – our breakfast dishes are still on the kitchen table, the recycling bin is overflowing, our living room curtains are still drawn and the kitchen radio is blasting out Chris Evans on Radio 2 because I forgot to switch it off as we left.

I’m projecting this image of calm normality when the truth couldn’t be further from that. I look around at the other parents at the school gate and wonder what the secret is. How do they successfully juggle everything in life – work, childcare, life admin, housework – and stay sane? Perhaps it’s about having schedules and planners and lists. Do they divide the day up into tasks and stick to it? I vow to buy a family planner for the wall and come up with a bit of a life schedule. That’ll be the answer, I’m sure, and will transform my life into organised calm.

No more plonking the five-year-old down on the sofa with Netflix for two hours after school, while I finish off work. No more giving her toast for tea because I realise I’ve got nothing else in to offer her. No more forgetting about the school bake sale.

It’s not always like this, of course. Some days go smoothly, and I find myself punching the air when no one is looking because I actually remember to ask my daughter to do her homework as soon as she gets home from school, we have a nutritious dinner in the fridge, waiting to be cooked, I hit all my work deadlines, and I actually take the recycling out the night before it’s due to be collected.

I often wonder if there’s a parenting version of Imposter Syndrome. After all, I feel like if there is a day when everything does fall into place, it’s just a happy accident. I’m pretty sure I’m going to be found out any day and people will know that I’m disorganised, my life is chaotic and we’re doing it all – just – by the skin of our teeth.

My version of motherhood might be a far cry from that typical image we all see in the media – but actually, is anyone as together as that perfect mum we’re all aiming to be like? Maybe all the other parents at the school gate are winging it too…

JOIN THE #MAVERICKMUM MOVEMENT

If you feel like you’re winging it too, then chances are, you’re a “Maverick Mum” –  the name given to women like us by NotOnTheHighStreet.com. Ahead of Mother’s Day, they’re celebrating the women who are doing motherhood our own way. We might be perfectly imperfect and it might feel like an uphill struggle a lot of the time, but do you know what – our kids are happy and loved. Aren’t those the most important things? Let’s give a big high five to doing-the-best-we-can.

I would LOVE to hear your #MaverickMum stories. Join in the movement by sharing your own story on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram and remember to use the #MaverickMum hashtag – NotOnTheHighStreet.com will be choosing their three favourite stories or images and the winners will each receive a £500 NotOnTheHighStreet.com voucher!

This post has been commissioned by NotOnTheHighStreet.com – for information on how I work with brands, see my Work With Me page. 

 

 

 

 

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15 Comments

  1. February 15, 2016 / 7:08 am

    You’re not the only one. You have just described a typical morning rush around before school for my family. I get up before the children to have breakfast alone then encourage my 7 yr old out of bed (not easy) feed 1 yr old her breakfast while son still reluctant to get downstairs! We eventually make it to school happy but the house is left in a messy turned upside down rush 🙂
    Claire recently posted…A Recap of Some of Our Favourite Books We’ve read in 2015. Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

  2. February 15, 2016 / 8:00 am

    I am so a maverick mum , I have been a mum for thirteen years now and I am still whinging it every single day. Your morning routine sounds so like mine use to. I often wonder if I am missing a trick as everyone else seems so organised and together and makes motherhood look a breeze. Xx
    Lindsay At Newcastle Family Life recently posted…To The Parent Who’s Baby Does Not Sleep.. Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

  3. February 15, 2016 / 10:11 am

    I am SO GLAD IT’S NOT JUST ME! (Maybe everyone is like this – they’re just better at hiding it?) Fab idea for a campaign – will join in ASAP xx

    Gill Crawshaw recently posted…Could you give up clothes for good?. Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

  4. February 15, 2016 / 10:56 am

    I like the term ‘maverick’ – it kinda sums up the idea of doing it your own way and that being OK! I reckon we are all just winging it and that’s more than OK! We all have our own ideas of what other people have ‘together’ but I’m pretty sure if we are winging it, so is everyone else! x
    Mel Wiggins recently posted…Our Weekend In Pictures. Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

  5. February 16, 2016 / 6:51 am

    Anyone who manages to get out of the house every day for a school run deserves to win a medal in my book! We struggle to make it out of the house by 100am most days and guaranteed on the days when we do need to be somewhere they will be in the middle of the best game ever and refuse to get dressed. Then on the days when we don’t have plans they will ask what we are doing! Great name for the campaign, I am definitely winging it! x
    Jess @ Along Came Cherry recently posted…Are Your Thready For The White Stuff Sewing Competition?. Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

  6. February 17, 2016 / 12:45 pm

    I like to think that the very fact that I started my family at 16 years old makes me a bit of a maverick! I even finished my A-levels and got a degree! Fancy pants!

  7. February 17, 2016 / 12:45 pm

    I like to think that the very fact that I started my family at 16 years old makes me a bit of a maverick! I even finished my A-levels and got a degree! Fancy pants!

  8. February 18, 2016 / 9:47 am

    Love this as I constantly feel like I’m winging it, so much so that my head is a constant whirlwind behind the smile. I’ve joined it as it’s such a brill hashtag

  9. February 18, 2016 / 1:07 pm

    This totally rings a bell with me. I promise myself I’ll leave more time each morning so I’m not tugging the kids along to school because we’re running late and I’m snapping but time always runs out each day. But then some of the best chats we have are on the school run and I still get a kiss from both of them (even the 9 yr old boy) inside the playground so I guess it’s not that bad.
    Kathryn recently posted…Colour trends (+ new buys). Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

  10. February 18, 2016 / 10:57 pm

    You are not alone there – even though my eldest doesn’t go to school I can totally empathise with this as we are always in a rush no matter how long we have been up and often make it to groups, sports and what not with minutes to spare having brushed my hair in the car on the way there – and the house – a bomb site most days

    Laura x
    Laura recently posted…Finding the perfect fit. Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

  11. February 19, 2016 / 3:28 pm

    I’m not sure there’s a mum around who’s not a maverick one by this definition – unless she’s outsourced everything 🙂

    (I’m writing blog posts whilst my daughter watches TV)
    Rachel recently posted…Hip Hop dancing with Bobux {+ a giveaway!}. Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

  12. February 19, 2016 / 8:33 pm

    what an amazing prize for someone! I joined in on IG 🙂 I’m so definitely winging it on a daily basis! x
    Fritha Strickland recently posted…Celebrate Her. Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

  13. August 21, 2016 / 9:35 am

    oh yes this is totally me ..sigh

  14. August 31, 2016 / 10:05 pm

    whinging it is what i do best!

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