How Many Parent Points Did You Earn Today?

How many Parent Points Did you earn today?

Parenting is HARD. It’s harder than completing a Rubik’s Cube. Harder than ignoring the garlic bread at a BBQ and opting for lots of salad instead.  Harder than keeping up with the latest developments in Katie Price’s life. So it’s important that we reward ourself for the small wins, each day. How? With Parent Points. It’s a simple concept – we earn Parent Points when we successfully do certain tasks when looking after our children. Keep a tally – stick it on your fridge, and feel smug each evening when you see how AWESOME you really are.

Give yourself one parent point when you:

  • Successfully navigate your baby or toddler into a wooden restaurant high chair in one swift movement. (What is it about those things? You need to have the child at a very precise angle…)
  • Manage to keep enough milk for their morning cereal (and your cuppa.)

  • Negotiate/distract your way out of a tantrum.
  • Find somewhere to stop when you’re driving and your child announces they need a wee, and get the child to the toilet before they wet themselves. Bonus point if it’s a poo.
  • Get your child dressed quickly and smoothly, with no protestations or declarations of hatred towards the t-shirt you’ve suggested.
  • Get the names of all of Peppa Pig’s friends (and their parents) right, when quizzed by your child.
  • Manage to use your psychic powers to guess that your child wants their toast cut into squares (NOT triangles) despite them not telling you this.
  • Remember to pack everything you need for a day out: water cup, hat, favourite toy, snack. WIN.
  • Find matching socks for your child to wear in the morning.
  • Leave a restaurant after a meal and there isn’t enough food littered under your table and chairs to feed a whole school.
  • Hear your child say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ without being prompted. (Hello, parent of the year…)
  • Get your child to walk from A to B quickly, when you’re in a real rush (why do they always dawdle and stop to look at ants… and stones… and a discarded crisp packet… when you’re in a hurry?)
  • See them eating a portion of vegetables… without any bribing prompting.
  • Peel those Octonauts stickers off your lovely wooden dresser without leaving half of each one behind.
  • Avoid laughing when you tell your child off and they do something genuinely funny in response. Must-keep-straight-face.
  • Get to the end of the day, having achieved two out of the following: done some laundry, washed the dishes, moved toys so that they’re not directly in everyone’s path, paid a bill, made an organisational phone call, vacuumed. (Any more than two and you’re just showing off – deduct a point.)

How many Parent Points have you earned today?

 

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9 Comments

  1. Busola Evans
    May 16, 2014 / 10:07 pm

    Haha – great piece, Alison!

  2. May 16, 2014 / 10:10 pm

    With our little bear, she decides to stop to pick a ‘flower’ for the childminder, then she wants to balance along the concrete border thing of the grass verge at the side of the pavement while walking along, THEN she starts running along, finds a raised bit in said pavement, trips and cuts her lip… I go to work to chill-out 😉
    (But I do love her really!)
    Mummy Bear recently posted…Parenting: a whole myriad of chortles and chuckles…. Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

    • Alison Perry
      May 18, 2014 / 4:28 pm

      In a way, you’ve got to LOVE their curiosity — my daughter makes me notice and appreciate the most random things ever, as she wanders and meanders along.

  3. Your Baby Gifts
    May 17, 2014 / 9:21 am

    Haha this made us giggle. Might try this!

  4. May 18, 2014 / 10:00 am

    I have in the past tried to call the bank when with the children. And literally. The minute the person says hello at the other end? Both start howling and screaming like I am killing them. No points for me that day! Lovely piece xxx
    brummymummyof2 recently posted…Kids are just plain creepy.. Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

    • Alison Perry
      May 18, 2014 / 4:20 pm

      Haha – we’ve all been there!

  5. May 20, 2014 / 9:11 pm

    I always mentally award myself points if child number 2 hasn’t bitten child number 1 at all during the day, and if child number 1 hasn’t got his willy out in public 🙂
    Becky | Spirited Puddle Jumper recently posted…Viva Espana!. Why don’t you check it out?My Profile

  6. May 23, 2014 / 1:23 pm

    Haha! My little girl will only eat toast in triangles!
    just came across your blog, great posts 🙂

  7. January 25, 2016 / 11:23 am

    Haha! This is great. We definitely have to cherish those small victories as parents. I think I probably earned parent points the other day by realising I could fill my coat pocket with mini eggs and basically bribe my children to be COMPLETE ANGELS on the school run. They just got given a mini egg for doing little things sensibly/quickly/as they were told; puppy training style. What I’ll do when the shops stop selling mini eggs after Easter remains to be seen…!

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